This stuff is going to get interesting soon

The Arsenal striker mystery may have reached its denouement: who will be unmasked as the man to knock down the ball to an onrushing Declan Rice. The answer appears to be Viktor Gyökeres, who is close to sealing his dream move from Sporting. If Benjamin Sesko is the great, lost Gunner, it’s because RB Leipzig want to charge €100m (around £86m), when Gyökeres will cost £70m and lower wages. Victor Osimhen, another striker in the reckoning, seems likely to convert his loan at Galatasaray to a permanent move, should a £65m fee be paid to Napoli. Yet another candidate, Real Madrid’s rather good Rodrygo, seems poised for a move to Al-Nassr in Saudi Arabia.

Chances are that Noni Madueke will be one of Gyokeres’s suppliers as the Arsenal-Chelsea trade route opens up once more. The winger wants Arsenal but Chelsea are open to accepting other bids than the Gunners’ £50m. Also, isn’t he a right winger, where Bukayo Saka plays? Seems Arteta wants a surfeit of players in each position, following the addition of Martín Zubimendi to a packed midfield. Chelsea need to sell £60m of talent to make Champions League regulations after the slapped wrist – and fine – received from Uefa on Friday.

Now thought to be the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40, it can also lead to difficulty swallowing, incontinence, seizures, memory problems, depression, anxiety and miscarriage. How has this extreme practice been normalised?

Now that Lucy has been in a steady relationship for a year, she finds herself looking back at previous sexual encounters through a new lens. The slaps to her face. Hands round her neck. The multiple late-night messages from one partner – nine years older and, in her words, “a Tinder situation”: “Can I come over and rape you?”

“I like to think I enjoyed my single 20s,” says Lucy, now 24. “I was an avid Hinge and Tinder user and I liked to think of myself as the ‘cool girl’. But I’ve been thinking about it so much – I’m not sure why. There was the friend of a friend who slapped me so hard in the middle of us having sex – no warning, just from nowhere. It actually made my teeth rattle. There was another guy I met at a bar. We got together that night and he started choking me so hard, I felt this sharp pressure, this pain I’d never experienced before. I was drunk but it sobered me up in one second. I still wonder what he did to me to cause that pain.”

I had been conditioned to be kind, agreeable and unselfish since I was a child. Pausing to consider what I really want to do has transformed my life

It was 6.18pm when the email pinged through. The lasagne smelled decidedly overcooked as I attempted to referee another squabble between my kids. The cat litter needed changing, and my cup of tea sat next to the microwave, stone cold and grey. Still, irresistibly, I was drawn to the screen. I read the subject line: “Quick favour this evening, if you have a sec?” Without thinking I started to reply: “Of course, no probl ...”

I didn’t reach the end of the sentence. The hyper-sensitive smoke alarm started blaring. I grabbed a towel and swatted at the ceiling; by the time the house fell silent, I had forgotten about the email.

Jason Hackett’s army of ‘muttonistas’ adore his beer reviews – in New York, the Guardian found, even star actors are fans

You might not be familiar with Prime Mutton. Maybe you haven’t heard his catchphrases – “absolute creamer”, “muttonista”, or the still-in-development “creamerisimo”.

If so, you’re missing out on a man who in the space of a year has created little short of a cult: an army of more than 160,000 social media fans, including celebrities, who cheer along online and in person as their leader – basically – reviews beer.

Refugees who found sanctuary in Nairobi fear a new family protection bill could again threaten their rights

Sitting on the porch of their shared house on the outskirts of Nairobi, Entity* and Rock* are chatting amiably. Aged 27 and 33 respectively, the Ugandan housemates have much in common – both exiled to Kenya for the the violence they faced at home for being gay.

In May 2023, Uganda passed the Anti-Homosexuality Act, infamously one of the world’s harshest anti-LGBTQ+ laws, including the death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality” and life imprisonment for same-sex relationships. The law harshened the 2009 “kill the gays” bill, which had come into effect in 2014 without the death penalty.

The next in our series of writers drawing attention to their favourite comfort films looks back to a funny and touching documentary from 1999

“I was a failure and I get very sad and depressed about it. I really feel like I betrayed myself. Big time. When I was growing up, I had all the potential in the world. Now I’m back to being Mark with a beer in his hand who is thinking about the great American script and the great American movie. This time I cannot fail. I will not fail.”

As far as opening monologues go, you couldn’t have scripted a more perfect introduction to a film that captures one of the purest pursuits of the American Dream ever set to film. But these were not written for a character, but instead straight from the heart of Mark Borchardt in a 1999 documentary. It’s rare that documentaries are associated with feelgood movies, which is odd because they are remarkable vehicles for generating warmth, empathy and humor from spending time in the company of real life people who you grow to like. And I utterly adore spending time with these people.